curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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