Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.