We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.