U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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