Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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