my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Panties = found
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