Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
