What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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