i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
