He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
