I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize