hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This is my life. Enjoy the view
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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