Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
