My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
