Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
