I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
