he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
