All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
