It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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