I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
