So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
