this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
only you would photoshop your dick
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
