Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
