my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
