don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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