We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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