He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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