..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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