She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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