Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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