I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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