That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
