What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
May the power of my ass compel you!!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
