why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
