his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
