How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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