You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
