do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
