at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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