Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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