ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
