I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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