sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize