Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
