i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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