She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
