Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
