She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
