If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
