I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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