Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
you never un-have a 4some
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
