Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I feel like a drive thru vagina
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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