just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
