I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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