how can u be prego again
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
