Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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