talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
