You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
