They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
