I wish I only lived at night.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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