She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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