my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
